I have a little announcement!
I am now 20 years old!!!
In all truthfulness, it took me a while to accept being 20. I was very happy being a teenager, with teenage responsibilities. And my lovely anxiety was the candles on the cake telling me that I was going to be a very bad adult, thanks for that.
I did live for the first week in denial, thinking I was 19 and not 20.
After I accepted that I was a 20 year old, I started thinking about why I was so afraid of being 20? Was I afraid of the adult responsibilities? Was I scared to no longer be a kid/ teenager? or Was I afraid of growing older? The answer to all those questions is yes. Yes, I was afraid of being an adult, yes I was sad to no longer be a kid/ teen, and yes I was afraid of growing older.
So after I realized my fears, I acknowledged them but then threw them in a box and then kicked them off a cliff. (Metaphorically). I realized I don’t want these fears controlling me. I want to be a strong woman who wants to live life and not be dragged down by facts. I want to be free. Free of a number, free of worries, free of anxiety, free of anything that wants to tear me down.
I wanted to share this with you as I believe there are others who are afraid of their age or maybe afraid of something else.
My advice to you if you are going through similar times is:
First of all, breathe. You are going to okay. I know you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you, you are not alone.
Second, (this step may take time) try and find the reason why are you are afraid? Write it down, even if you don’t believe that is the answer, at least it is a start. Hopefully, you have a list coming together to help you understand your fears.
Once you have realized your fears, start to find ways to overcome them. REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Go seek help! From a family member or a friend or even from a helpline.
It took me a while to be okay with my age. So don’t rush your process.
In that meantime, I listened to music, watched (A lot), I read and let my mind loose with creativity.